Trip Of A Lifetime

Teacher: Right, Children. This is the itinerary for next week's trip.

1. First stop Afghanistan to check on the opium trade.


2. Those who don't get shot there will move on to Iraq to spend a day shadowing the new security forces.


3. Any lucky ones who escape being blown up will travel on to Lebanon to take part in - yes, you've guessed it - what you've all been waiting for! - the great Cluster Bomb Hunt.

Please tell your parents that thorough risk assessments have been carried out and that you are much more likely to be run over by a bus than have an accident on a School Trip. Questions? Yes, Johnny?

Child: Is the bus driver Tony Blair?

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