State Of The Onion
George:
Fellow Americans.
We all love our automobiles. And gasoline consumption in our country is running at 120%. So I propose to reduce that consumption - by 20% over the next ten years. Then it will be down to 100%. This will help the eco-structure of the planet, reduce harmful emissions and please statisticians everywhere.
Additionally, I intend that our country should reduce invasions of other countries by 20%. OK, I know what people will say: this will mean more of our troops at home thus increasing gasoline consumption. But I say to those people: Hey, those are the breaks, kid.
Finally, I intend to reduce the number of States by 20%. This involves painful decsions, of course, but it means that we are going to have to let the people of the several States* of the United Kingdom go it alone and finally become a fully independent country.They deserve our gratitude, but once Tony steps down we'd never be able to count on the unwavering support of that dumb Scotch guy they're bringing in.
Fellow Americans.
We all love our automobiles. And gasoline consumption in our country is running at 120%. So I propose to reduce that consumption - by 20% over the next ten years. Then it will be down to 100%. This will help the eco-structure of the planet, reduce harmful emissions and please statisticians everywhere.
Additionally, I intend that our country should reduce invasions of other countries by 20%. OK, I know what people will say: this will mean more of our troops at home thus increasing gasoline consumption. But I say to those people: Hey, those are the breaks, kid.
Finally, I intend to reduce the number of States by 20%. This involves painful decsions, of course, but it means that we are going to have to let the people of the several States* of the United Kingdom go it alone and finally become a fully independent country.They deserve our gratitude, but once Tony steps down we'd never be able to count on the unwavering support of that dumb Scotch guy they're bringing in.
*According to Mr. Bush, the 12 States that represent the 20% reduction are: England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Isle of Man, Channel Islands, Liverpool, Essex, Isle of Dogs, Greenham Common, France, Europe.
© BLOGONYMOUS
Labels: Countdown To Brownsville, Greenish Days, Political Satire
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