Debate.

George: Uh huh. That you Tony?

Tony: Yes, George. Sorry I took so long to answer. Just getting into my pj’s.

George: What! It’s only 7 o’clock, Tony. An hour and a half to bedtime!

Tony: Yes. George. You’re in Texas. Its midnight here. In Britain.

George: Britain? Where’s… Oh. Is it? Midnight? How does that work, then?

Tony: Never mind. Was it something… er… important.

George: Oh, yeah, Tony. Need some advice. Going to have a debate with this…er… Mr. Dinnerjacket. You know the Iranian dude.

Tony: You mean Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

George: Yeah. That’s what I said. Mr. Imarood Dinnerjacket.

Tony: You’re going to debate with him, George? Is that wise?

George: No sweat, Tony. What ever he says, I’ll say: Well, our bombs are bigger than yours, Buster.

Tony: Bigger bombs….

George: Like it?

Tony: Yes, well, it has a certain… well… something about it.

George: I detect that you’re not crazy about this, Tony.

Tony: I’m not sure that you should really give him the time of day, George. Don’t give him the respect, the kudos, he might get from this. Even if your bombs are bigger than his.

George: I see. I see where you’re coming from, Tony. So you’re not keen?

Tony: Not really, George. Maybe you should sleep on it and we’ll talk in the morning.

George: Maybe. Then maybe I should skip the debate. And show him the bigger bombs. By dropping them on the Motherf***er’s head. That’ll teach him. That’ll shift the Ayatollah off the mountain! Don’t you think, Tony? Yeah! Kapow!

Click.

Tony: George? George? Are you still there? You haven’t dropped the ’phone again, have you, George? George…? Kapow…? Oh, shit. [pause while dialling] Er… John. Sorry it’s so late. Can you dig out that dossier on why we should attack Iran, please?

Three Wise Monkeys

George: Hey, Tony, why are you wearing shades? There's no sun.

Tony: I've gone blind, George.

George: Huh? You'll have to speak up.

Tony: I've gone blind, George.

George: No. Sorry. Can't hear you. I must have gone deaf. You know, Tony, we have to get to gether with Mr. Omerta - you know, the Israeli guy - and hear what he has to say about Lebannon.

Tony: He can't speak, George.

George: Good. That's settled then. Shall we watch 24? I need to see some terrorists wasted.

Tony: I'm blind, George.


After Bush's "Shades" press conference. See it at:
http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Bush_Wallsten_0614.html

World Leader. [for Tony]

Good Old George Dubya –
an accident waiting to happen.

He gave up booze
belted on his bible
and launched his world-wide war on
Error:

Too much [American] blood spilt
Too many innocent [American] lives lost
Too many [American] bombs missed their targets
Too many [American] missiles not making his point
Too many [American] bullets not killing enough [un-American] terrorists.

Solution:
More bullets
More bombs
More missiles
More blood
More death.

We can only hope and pray that
“Someone Sensible”
who has the power to act
will feel his conscience pricking
and point out to his good buddy George

The Terror of his Ways.

Diplomacy

Hiya Georgie, Baby!

Just wanted to let you know what a heavy hip time we had at the ranch! We particularly enjoyed patting the dog.

I explained everything to the boys back home [well, John anyway - no not that one - and definitely not Gordon]. Everything's cool.

Just one little point. About the Iranians and you saying that if they don't comply then we should bomb them until the Ayettollah falls off the mountain [I did enjoy your little epigram: if the mountain won't come away from the Ayettollah then we'll knock the motherf***er off it]. I heavily agree with this, of course, but just to keep everybody sweet, I think we may need just a teeney-weeney bit of diplomacy. I could, of course, handle this. What do you think?

Just tuning in to see your live press conference. You're so good at that, aren't you?

Cheers for now,

Tony.



Hiy'all Tony,

How's Cheryl?

Two points.

1. What's an epigram?

2. What's diplomacy?

Give my regards to your son, Euan McGregor.

Yours in God 'n Oil,

George.


Hiya Georgie baby,

You're winding me up [or putting me on as you say over there]

I know you know what an epigram is!

Diplomacy is when we convince everyone we're not going to bomb anyone - through sending envoys, creating dossiers, telling the odd fib and then letting 'em have it with both barrells when they're least expecting it. Kapow!

Cheers for now,

Tony.



Hiy'all Tony,

How's Cherub?

Is that what diplomacy is?

I LIKE diplomacy. Let's buy into that. Kapow!

By the way I saw you son's film Trainspotting. But I couldn't spot any trains.

Yours in God 'n Oil.

George.