'Asbeens' ASBO's

On the Fourth Day of Christmas my Tony sent to me:

Four thousand ASBO's

Three Cherie faux pas
Two Blunkett sackings

And Gordon Brown stuck up a gum tree.

© BLOGONYMOUS 2006

A Thinly Veiled Threat

Reporter: After the events of recent weeks in Ipswich does the Chief Constable intend to put in measures to increase protection for prostitutes?

Police Spokesman: Yes, indeed. He has already instructed one of our WPC's to hand out free condoms.

© BLOGONYMOUS 2006

Return To The Comfort Zone

Police Spokesman: With the arrest of a 37 year-old man today in connection with the murder of five prostitutes I would like to reassure all the girls that it is perfectly safe to walk the streets of Ipswich again now. You can be comforted by the fact that all the regular pimps, pushers, addicts, weirdos, winos, sadists, sexual deviants, perverts, exponents of rough sex, wife-beaters and personality difficient psychos will be there to give you succour and treat you in the manner to which you have become accustomed.

© BLOGONYMOUS 2006